As a doctor i’m supposed to know how to save a life, or at i least i should, the truth is sometimes you don’t know, because you can’t, you can’t save a life that does not want to be saved, no one can. I remember that one good and dear friend show me this song (how to save a life) back in 2007 when we were in college from the fray and is kind of weird that i still feel like the song so many years later. I think sometimes in the lifes that i couldn’t save from friends (a classmate) or people that i knew and it didn’t involved my role as a doctor, but as friend or a human being. I remember that same year one of my friends comitted suicided by hanging himself in his room at his house, i remembered that he called me sometimes, specially his last xmas he texted me, i didn’t anwered i just didn’t know what else to say i didn’t have the experience that i have now as a person and i was in my first year of med school, we were teenagers back then. I felt guilty for what happened ’til this day, the difference is now i know that maybe i could have tried to help but in the end we decide if we want to continue or if the pain we are living is just unbearable cause sometimes it is, i know this because i have been there so many times from different angles. I think med school gave me the tools to help people no doubt about it, but there will be times when saving someone or getting better depends mostly of the patient and sometimes even if the person wants to live you will do anything above and beyond i might not work, we are sometimes healers and sometimes just companion and relief through the pain. Bad stuff will happen in this called life and is not negotiable but we can decide how to deal with it, courage is like a charcoal you swallowed once and again to keep living or keep swallowing until your last breath ’cause even death takes courage.
I want to dedicate this post to all my friends that went to med school with me (shout out to the 2015 prom) , specially to those who are already changing lives including their own.